Music Mondays: Brave

After a couple weeks of uninspired hiatus, Music Mondays is BACK!

This week, the song is a new one.  It’s titled “Brave” and is by Sara Bareilles (who is known for past songs “Love Story” and “King of Anything”).

Why don’t you start by watching the video?  And WATCH it, don’t just listen to it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUQsqBqxoR4

You done?  Okay, first I just want to say how INCREDIBLE it is that Sara included people of all sorts…young, old, middle, skinny, not-so-skinny, black, white, etc in her video.

Next, let’s discuss the lyrics.

You can be amazing
You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug
You can be the outcast
Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love
Or you can start speaking up
Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do
When they settle ‘neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes a shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you

There’s the first verse.  It basically, at least to me, says that you can be the person that turns words (negative ones) into ones of pain, torment, guilt, fear…the person that says “You’re dumb”, “I can’t stand you”, “Why do you even exist?”  “You’re such a fag”, or “No one will ever love you” to someone.  Or, you can be the person receiving those harsh words, feeling the harsh reality that there are horrible people in the world.

Or…

You can be the one that speaks up about it.  The one that says to the cruel abusers “No.  I will NOT stand for this.  You will not treat this fellow human being this way.”  The one that stands by the abused, the bullied, the marginalized and fights for their rights to be heard, to be loved.

Because, even though the ditty says “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” everyone knows it’s a lie.  Words do hurt, even worse than sticks and stones.  Words cut deep, beyond the surface, into our very souls.  I know this.  I’ve been cut by words like this.  I’ve been treated like this, by people of that first category who use words as a weapon.  I’ve had people call me a crybaby, useless, etc.  And it hurts.  Even five, ten years later…it still hurts.

But there’s hope…

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

This hope comes through bravery.  Really, you may think it’s hard, but it’s not.  Stand UP for those who need it.  Speak up.  Be brave.

To be brave means to show courage.  To show courage means to persevere, to withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.  Is it easy?  No.  Is it the right thing to do?  Yes.  Such a large and resounding yes.

Everybody’s been there,
Everybody’s been stared down by the enemy
Fallen for the fear
And done some disappearing,
Bow down to the mighty
Don’t run, stop holding your tongue
Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is

I’d venture to say that a large percentage of us have had something negative said about us.  And, yes, I’ll admit, I’ve said negative things about others.  Some true, some not-so-true.  However, even when we are tormented by the words of others, even when we just want to fall away from everything, even when we want to give up and give in…we KNOW we don’t have to.  We have wings, and what beautiful wings they are!  We need to take them, spread them out, break out of the cages and shackles that we’ve been so cruelly forced into, and fly.  Because all of us (yes, even YOU!) are wonderful, beautiful, courageous, and brave individuals.

So stand up.  Don’t take crap from ANYBODY.  If someone puts you down, then they are not worth it.  Clearly, they have their own battles to face, and are obviously too scared or self-absorbed to admit to it.  But you be brave.  I know you can do it.  I’ve gotten through it, and so can you.  Your brave…it must span across the oceans.  No, the galaxies.

And since your history of silence
Won’t do you any good,
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don’t you tell them the truth?

Don’t stay silent.  Please.  There are SO many people that need you.  People who are told that they are unlovable because they don’t look like models or athletes.  Young women (and men) who are raped and yet not believed.  People who are treated poorly because they don’t share the same religious or political views as their peers.  People who are gay, lesbian, bi, asexual, trans*, etc.  People who aren’t good at sports.  People who are really smart and thus “nerdy”.  People who aren’t so smart and thus “dumb”.  People who don’t have jobs.  People who don’t have the “right” jobs.  People who have mental disabilities.  People with lots of emotional baggage.  People who are single.  People who are poor.  People who don’t speak the native language.  People who are told what to do with their own bodies.  And so, so, SO many other people.

If you encounter anyone responding negatively to ANY of these people for these “reasons” listed above, please, stand up for them.  That’s what YOU can do.   You be the one who is brave for them.  As a person who was bullied, I know how hard it is to stand up for yourself and legitimately be heard without being laughed at and not truly listened to.  I know how much it would’ve meant to have someone be brave for me.

Now, it’s YOUR turn.

Will you be brave?

Will you stand up for those who need you?

Will you put an END to bullying?

Will you be the one who says “No.  I will not put up with your treating this individual like he or she is inferior.”?

Will you?

I just wanna see you.

(Note: If you have EVER been bullied or treated like an inferior, I am here for you if you need someone to talk to.  My email is erinrebecca922@gmail.com.  I can’t promise I’ll make everything better, but I will help how I can.  Just know that you are loved.)

Music Mondays: Songs of Captivity and Freedom

Today’s song(s) are from my favorite television show, Doctor Who.  They are from the episodes “Planet of the Ood” and “Journey’s End”.

There are a few different “sets” of songs, if you will, all from season four of “New Who”, which stars David Tennant as the Tenth Doctor and Catherine Tate as the fiesty Donna Noble.

In the first “set”, the Doctor takes Donna on her first trip through space (her first true TARDIS trip took her to Pompeii on volcano day, in which they save Caecilius and family.  Caecilius, coincidentally, becoming the Twelfth Doctor…) to the Ood Sphere.  Here, Donna met the Ood, a race of tentacled aliens who were “bred” to be slaves/servants for humans.  However, they were stripped of their basic rights of free will or even free thought.  However, at one point they find some “untampered Ood” and Donna is able to hear their lament…their song of captivity.

From the beginning until  2:45 you can hear the Ood’s lament (then pause for a moment):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXEdzgMvzcA

It includes the lyrics “Cum tacent clament”, which is Latin that means “When I am silent, I scream” and “serva me, servato te”, meaning “Save me, and I will save you.”

There are so many people like the Ood today, people who are screaming even though they are silent.  The marginalized, the disenfranchised, the poor, the downtrodden, the enslaved.  Women, LGBT*, people of color.  People with invisible illnesses.  People of other beliefs sets.  However, if we save them (not in the sense of YOU SHALL BE SAAAVED BY THE LAAAWD, but save them from oppression), they would be able to save us in a different way.  They could, in fact, save us from ourselves and who we were.

Then, the Ood are saved, and they send the Doctor and Donna away with a new song…one of freedom.

Now, start listening again:

The next part includes the phrase “dum inter homines, sumus colamus humanita”, which means “when among humans, you should be humane” along with the phrase “cum tacent clament” again.  Basically, we should follow the rule that Christ told us, to “Love thy neighbor as thyself”, which is the second and greatest commandment after loving God.  (Of course, to me, if one TRULY loves God, doesn’t loving one’s neighbor just come naturally?)

Next, there’s one final song.  It is a reprise of the Song of Freedom, yet one for the entire world and even other worlds.  Whereas Donna and the Doctor only saved some people in the previous Song of Freedom, they later save several planets and civilizations stretching out across the universe.  Just listen and let the emotions come over you.  Then think of how you can “be humane amongst humans”.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKa_oZ5NBiM

I will leave you with this quote by the Doctor to Donna Noble’s mother: “I just want you to know, there are worlds out there, safe in the sky because of her. That there are people living in the light, and singing songs of Donna Noble, a thousand, million light years away. They will never forget her, while she can never remember. And for one moment… one shining moment… she was the most important woman in the whole wide universe.”

We may not be able to be like Donna Noble, and save entire planets from Daleks (let’s hope we never HAVE to), but we should be able to live lives where people sing the songs of us, songs of goodness, grace, freedom, compassion, joy.  Let others remember us, even after we cannot remember ourselves, and remember us for all the good we have done.

Why is respect so hard?

(Trigger warning: Rape)

Just the other day, I learned from my coworker that something bad had happened.  Apparently, her younger sister had left a get-together or something and was not able to hear or feel her phone.  The sister’s best friend was still there.  Somehow (I don’t know the details) the girl was then gangraped by THREE different men.  Minor league baseball players, if you were wondering.  And, of course, my friend’s little sister feels like it was her fault.

Now.  I need to make some points that SHOULD be a given.  But seeing as this nonsense still happens, I have to make a list of points.

First, for people who, well, are rapists (or would-be rapists):

1. If you do not receive a clear, sober, confident YES from a person to engage in ANY variety of physical or sexual contact, and yet do so anyways…you are a rapist.
2. Don’t try and convince an unsure person to have sex.
3. Having forced sex with someone doesn’t make you manly.  It makes you a rapist.  And a criminal.
4. Even if the person is aroused or orgasms, if the sex was non-consensual, it is rape.
5. Women are also rapists.  Even if the man has an erection.
6. If you see one of your friends attempting to rape someone, don’t bloody join in.  Don’t just stand idly by either.  You wanna be a REAL man?  Stand up, do the right thing, and tell the perpetrators that they need to stop (or actually call the police).
7. Just, jeez, treat people with respect.

Next, for anyone who has gone through sexual violence:

1. It is NOT your fault.  At all.
2. Don’t let people downgrade you because of what you wore or drank.
3. You are NO less of a person.
4. There are many, many of us that are here for you.  Myself included.
5. You are loved.

Finally, for everyone else:

1. If you victim blame, all you are doing is telling the rapist that he/she is at least SOME degree in the right.  No rapist is.  At all.  Ever.
2. Telling young women to not wear “scandalous” clothing because she’s “asking” to get raped is like telling someone to not buy a Ferrari because they’re “asking” to get it stolen.
3. Yeah, now you see how dumb the victim-blaming statement is.
4. If someone you know was sexually abused in any way, BE THERE FOR THEM.
5. If someone you know is a sexual offender, even if it’s your closest friend, find them help in some way.  Yes, even if that means having them arrested.  It’s the right thing to do.
6. Both men and women can be rapists.
7. Both men and women can be raped.
8. A person can rape their boyfriend or girlfriend.
9. A person can rape their husband or wife.
10. If you have children, teach them at a VERY early age to treat everyone with respect.

Sorry, this post varies from my norm.  Just…seeing my friend so torn up about her sister and sister’s friend.  I needed to wait a couple days, but, guys, I’m furious.  Furious that we’re still dealing with this.  Furious that there are rapists walking free while victims have to fight to be believed.

It’s the 21st century guys.

Listen to bloody Aretha already and try a little respect.